How to Support a Friend After a Stroke: Tips for Compassionate Care and Connection

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So Your Friend Had A Stroke…

The caregiver of a stroke warrior once said “after his stroke our friends just drifted away.  They didn’t know what to do with us anymore.”  Following a stroke and during recovery is when stroke families need their friends and families most.  Supporting a friend who has had a stroke requires patience, empathy, and understanding of their condition. Here are some tips 

Educate yourself about stroke and  potential effects, such as physical limitations, communication difficulties, memory issues, or emotional changes. Understanding your friend’s  condition will help you respond empathetically and appropriately.

Communicate clearly and patiently with your stroke warrior friend. Speak slowly and clearly without being condescending. Give your friend time to process and respond, don’t rush or interrupt. Use simple sentences if they has trouble with comprehension. If speech is difficult for them, encourage nonverbal communication like gestures, writing, or pointing.  Ask one question at a time  and avoid correcting or filling in words for them unless it’s necessary for clarity.  Avoid overwhelming them with too much information at once.

When visiting with your stroke friend be encouraging, not overbearing. You can focus on their strengths and celebrate their progress. Avoid pitying or talking down to them. Instead, empower them to express themselves and engage actively in conversations. Listen to any frustrations they might express due to their limitations  Acknowledge that they may feel frustrated or embarrassed.  Encourage and praise their efforts, even if communication is challenging. Suggest stroke-friendly activities, such as gentle walks, board games, or puzzles based on their abilities and interests. You can invite and involve them in social outings, but be mindful of their physical or sensory limits.  An injured brain can find noise and lights difficult.

Don’t hesitate to check in on their emotional well-being.  Stroke warriors often experience depression or anxiety. Regularly ask how they are feeling emotionally.  Encourage openness by being a nonjudgmental listener.

Offer assistance when needed without overstepping or hovering. Be helpful but avoid making them feel helpless. For physical tasks, ask if they would like assistance before stepping in.  Respect their independence when they’re capable of handling things.

Be consistent in your friendship. Strokes can affect memory so regular visits or calls help reinforce your bond and provide stability. Bring positivity into interactions. Its OK to share humor, stories, or photos to keep the mood lighthearted.

Interacting with someone who has had a stroke requires patience, empathy and understanding. Friendship and social interaction makes a tremendous difference.

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Story Preview | A DRIVING FORCE – Alesha Goodman

by Jake Sheaffer

“I once threw a canister of my supplement powder at the wall and dented it. That’s something I can’t imagine ever doing before my stroke, but it’s just another part
of my recovery to work on.”

______________________________

On an early October weekend in 2019, Alesha Goodman and her longtime boyfriend Drew hiked over 50 miles of rugged desert landscape in the Ochoco National Forest in Central Oregon. They were on a nine-day hunting trip they’d been planning for months. While Drew streaked up the steep slopes of sagebrush and loose rock, Alesha tarried behind breathing heavily, fighting the searing pain radiating from the base of her skull. An active thirty-four-year-old who frequented local gyms, walked her dog daily, and hiked on weekends, Alesha never suspected the severe neck pain and nausea she’d had for the past week and a half were signs of an impending stroke. And not just one stroke, but two. Two potentially fatal strokes that would occur within an hour of each other the day after she returned from the Ochocos.

An only child, Alesha was close to her parents and her grandmother who lived on her parents’ property later in life. As a kid, she delivered newspapers in her Bend, OR neighborhood, and in her spare time, she wrote children’s books for fun and read voraciously, prompting close friends to refer to her as a “living encyclopedia of odd information.”

On the Monday morning after she got home, Alesha sat in traffic at a parkway off -ramp, still in discomfort from the neck pain and the nausea. She had new symptoms, too, dizziness and feeling faint. Regardless of the pain, she readied herself for work, but she had an uneasy feeling about her job.

Over the weekend, Alesha had received multiple text messages from her employer, a jewelry company in Central Oregon, about an issue with her company email and password, but with no cell reception, she couldn’t respond to her manager’s concerns. After searching through Alesha’s desk for her email password and not finding it, but instead finding an important legal document she’d already dealt with but had not yet disclosed to her boss, the company hired a specialist to get around the digital safeguards. That day, Alesha was let go from her position.

Purchase the Book to Learn More About Alesha’s Journey!